Boys

Ok.  I have been pretty reluctant to mention this at all or talk about the 'boy' subject in general.  Lately it has been a really annoying thing going on in my brain and I figure why not share it with the whole world.

I would like to start off with the fact that the questions When are you getting married?  Are you dating someone right now?  Oh really, why not? are EXTREMELY annoying and I think this is to get out my side of the story and to provide answers to those questions.  This post is addressed to loving aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, other various family members, friends, and casual acquaintances of mine and every other single girl I know.

Let's start with the past.

Those that know me know that I have never had a real relationship.  I mean I had a boyfriend in 6th grade but that really means we would meet up at the dance and only talk to each other during the mandatory 5 slow dances and then after that the other was no where to be found.  We maybe held hands once - A BIG DEAL - and we passed notes every once in a while.  A major real-life relationship these things do not make.

I have had guy friends since elementary school, especially since I have two brothers and had mostly boys in the neighborhood.  I had/have my fair amount of crushes on boys - realistic and so-totally not going to happen crushes - but nothing that would ever resemble a relationship or the beginning of a relationship.  AND I am totally fine with this.  There are definitely times when I get a woe-is-me feeling while reading a cute book or watching a RomCom or hearing a really sweet song.  I have even been known to complain to friends and family that I will never have my happy ending.

To the people who really feel sad for me right now I want you to dry your eyes because at this point I actually feel lucky.  There are so many opportunities in my life that I have had because I wasn't tied down to anyone, or reliant on taking another person's feelings into account for decisions I have made for my life.  I also don't have the heartbreak of losing a deep relationship or making mistakes I can never take back that friends of mine have.  Praise God for that protection!

Questions I ponder on the regular - What would my life look like if I had dated _____?  What if I had given him a chance?  I wonder what life would be like if I was married.  Why haven't I had any relationships?  Why don't boys like me?  What is wrong with me? The questions are really endless along that line of thinking.  I have friends that are married and have children and last summer was a marathon of weddings for some friends and in those instances my mind really starts thinking obsessing.  But in my rational mindset I have clear thoughts on my current situation.

My friends and family in recent years seemed to be very concerned about me moving onto a new life stage and worry and want to set me up with any number of guys who they know, who are so-and-so's friend, etc etc.  These are not random guys or bad guys - many of them are probably really great guys.  But what are the qualities they are looking for in these people they want to set me up with?  Basically I think they are throwing anybody and everybody out there as an option.  Problem is:  I don't see every single-guy as an option for me.  I don't like to think that I have a checklist of qualities my ideal guy needs but I guess I kinda do.  (No I am not going to make a list of my top 10 [or 100] qualities but I am going to point out a key thing that I think is really important.)

Something that is extremely important to me is the guy needs to have a desire for the Lord and desire for Him to be the center of his life.  I am not into a 'missonary dating' relationship where I show him Christ and he follows me on the path.  That is not me, not what I see as my responsibility, and I defintiely can't be anyone's savior.  We both need to be on our own paths towards the Lord and eventually those paths meet and join.  This also can't be a trait that the guy seeks because his mom or sister or grandma or friends are pushing him towards.  He needs to want it for himself without factoring anyone else into the equation.  Without this quality I think the relationship would be very shallow and would lead to a quick dead end.

That is really the only serious thing that my knight-in-shining-armor needs to have but I also have preferences.  That guy should strive to have good relationships with friends and family. Not a 'mama's boy' but good to his parents and grandparents.  Now if you know any of these guys - loves the Lord and his family - send him my way!  I am all for that tall, dark, and handsome idea - think cowboy-esq - but I am not dead set on it.  It would be great if he has some sort of higher education and a job. 



Also, please realize that as much as I would like to live in 19th century pioneer times, I do not.  Therefore, being a single 23-year-old woman in no way means that I should be "put on the shelf" or that I am destined to be a spinster.  I have time to enjoy being single and figuring out my life and my hopes and desires.  I have faith in what He tells me in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plan to give you hope and a future."  The Lord knows the desires of my heart and will provide all things in His time.  Which means that all you people are just going to have to be patient.  I truly appreciate your concern and your desire to help me on my quest for a man so don't stop those things just don't be upset when it doesn't happen in your time frame.

I hope this opens the eyes of some that yes, I do want a man but no, I am not desperate.  I will not take any man.  I also hope that those of you that read this and are dealing with the same situation as me realize that you are not alone.

Alrighty!  End of discussion.  Now we no longer need to harp on it!

Why is it almost Monday already?

I am not a fan of daylight saving time! The 'falling back' one hour part is kinda nice but not really worth its 'spring forward' counterpart. Yeah I know it is only one hour but I really think that my body was going to allow me to sleep another hour this morning, which is not normal recently (ie Saturday morning I woke up at 7:30 with no chance of falling back asleep).

I also don't really know where my weekend went...actually I do, I showed some signs of actually having a life and BAM...weekend over.

Really my weekend was jam packed with stuff.
- Awesome country concert on Friday night courtesy of Steel Magnolia, Easton Corbin, and Blake Shelton!
- Nail-biting ACC Tournament Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Disappointing ending for my Heels :(
- Getting my read on - I have been slack lately on reading so I read one all the way through and started another. The first was a sweet fiction book about a middle child that feels Stuck in the Middle with two sisters that have amazing lives and opportunities while she continues to be a 'plain-Joan' that brought real tears to my eyes and down my cheeks and demonstrated how chocolate ice cream has the power to drastically alter a person's life. I also started an interesting non-ficiton memoir-type that was recommended to me by one of my BFFs Maggie Same Kind of Different As Me that has already made me laugh and want to cry.

This has been a GREAT weekend and I guess I just don't want it to be over yet.

So I figure there has been a lot to keep me busy and not notice the time flying by. Knowing this still does not make me excited to go back to work tomorrow. I pray for a better attitude when I wake up.

Funny school story

Did you know that Joseph Stalin is from the COUNTRY of Mississippi?

I will leave you to ponder on that until I have the energy to elaborate!

-> Originally posted Feb 28...as of March 13, I still don't have the energy to really tell the whole story. Suffice to say, when asked what country Joseph Stalin was from, one of my wonderful - but clearly misinformed - students stated that he was from Mississippi. Oh the wonders of 6th grade.

New Goal

Ok well my other two goals have been going really well (read here and here to get caught up).

I am starting to become an adult...FINALLY as my mom would say! Now I don't know another goal for this next week. I think I should test out these two goals for another week. (This will also solve the problem of not having a goal.)

Ideas for new goals are welcome. Especially from those people that are already adults!

Goal #2

Alrighty so goal #1 was a hit! I will definitely be doing my best to keep up with that goal. One thing that helped me with this goal was deciding the night before if I wanted to sleep in an extra 15 or 20 minutes and then I set my alarm for that time and felt way more refreshed than I would have been hitting the snooze 3 or 4 times! A 3-hour delay on Thursday didn't hurt one bit either! Also, by keeping my bed made, I have naturally kept the floor and closet more tidy as well. Especially my bookshelves which can be my dropping off place for all manner of things. I have been putting things away! I am growing up! :( or is it :)?

So on to my new goal for this week.

I am going to eat all meals at home at the kitchen table! I have lived here with my brand new table for a year and a half and use it more as a place to leave my purse or mail or do schoolwork or all kinds of things but not very often do I actually use it to eat my meals. The couch is generally my choice spot - I can watch tv and use the computer at the same time. I tried the table the other day and found that there is a seat that I can sit in and still see the tv comfortably should I try to use that excuse as a reason not to sit at the table.

I think this goal will go along with keeping my bed made to making me into a more civilized adult. It also helps me to not be so lazy! I am not saying I won't eat at the couch - a girl has to snack every once in a while but actual meals, especially those that require utensils, will be eaten at the table. I think I will start tonight with dinner - since I definitely ate my lunch sitting on the couch while checking email and Facebook!

New question. What to have for dinner?

Wish me luck with my new goal!

God's Peace

Today I have delighted in God. Through spending time in His Word and listening to teaching of His Word I have felt some of His Peace.

I am currently working through a Beth Moore study called Breaking Free and it has exposed some areas in my life that have held me captive, areas that have kept me from knowing God and His Peace. I also listened to a sermon from Mark Driscoll Fall: God Judges that showed me how my sin and the sin of those before me has broken my relationship with God. Even though there is a brokenness, God sent His Son Jesus to bind up our wounds and heal us of our brokenness. All you have to do is truly be repentant of your sins and through God's grace, your slate is washed clean. By no means does this suppose that your life will be a cake walk - because it definitely won't - but how can you NOT find peace in the knowledge that He is watching out for you in everything?

I have a loving God that does not bring pain and turmoil into my life but uses the pain in my life to bring me to Him; to make me more like Him; to give me something greater than anything I can find here on Earth. God's love is AWESOME. Not awesome like a new book or new outfit but AWESOME like I can't fathom it. Or as dictionary.com would say an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like.

My prayer is for you to find peace in the AWESOME God!

A New Goal for the Week

Well I spent the afternoon cleaning the apartment - sweeping, swiffering, fan blade dusting, bookself dusting, laundry, dishes, bedroom, living room, dining nook, kitchen, laundry room, study, bathroom - not a place (except Christina's room/bathroom - that's all you my friend) left untouched!

So I have decided to have a goal for this week and see how it works out to make a new one each week while still maintaining those from past weeks. Anyway, I'll see how it goes.

Back to my goal. This week my goal is to wake up with my alarm clock on the first time and make my bed every morning. (I guess this really equates to two goals but I always like to dive head-first, all gung-ho in my new adventures. Why not this one too?)

Many of you may be saying these are easy/lame goals. Not for me.

Normally I let the snooze go 5-6 times and sometimes I run out of snooze times and my phone tells me I must get up because the alarm will not go off anymore this morning! Not only does that make me sad, I haven't really gotten any more rest dealing with the alarm every 5 minutes for the past 35 than I would have had I gotten up the first time. So, why not add a bit of extra time to my morning? Did I mention my alarm starts going off at 5:15 AM every weekday morning? Hence the 'not easy' part.

The second part of my goal - to make my bed - is really for looks rather than anything else. I really like the way my room looks after I have just cleaned it. It looks REALLY good! Everything is in its place (or at least tucked away somewhere so no one can see it) and organized. Normally my thought is, I am just going to sleep in it again tonight. What's the use of making it? Well, the use is that it looks nice and since I am getting up on time, I will have time to do it!

The key to making this goal a reality is to get up, not just wake up, but GET UP when the alarm goes off and make the bed right then. I will be less likely tempted to crawl back into the snuggly warmth. I say less likely tempted because it is 5:15 in the morning for goodness' sake!

Anyway, off to bed so that I have a good chance of fulfilling these goals on Day #1!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13

Why am I so lazy?

I can't even write this post right now. Tired! Carolina basketball! Bed!

the end.

Some exciting stuff here!

Ok...so...all the cool kids are doing it. So why not me? Page started it and I checked it out. Laura did it and I checked it out. Noticed I hadn't posted in a while so I checked it out and found one that I definitely know a lot about. It's a writer's workshop to give you ideas and prompts to write/think about.

10 reasons why you can't sleep at night

1. Most of the time it's because my mind won't shut up and go to sleep. It's too busy worrying about things I have to do tomorrow, things I forgot to do today, what am I going to wear tomorrow, and it goes on and on and on.

2. There is something on TV that I really want to watch.

3. There is NOTHING on TV that I want to watch but I get sucked into anyway ie. History Channel, Food Network, WE TV, etc. etc.

4. It is too cold in the room.

5. It is too hot in the room.

6. Woke myself up out of a bad dream and now I have to watch TV or read a book to think about something else.

7. I accidentally took a 3 hour nap after work and have since caught a second wind.

8. What am I going to do if I can't think of 10 things to complete this list?

9. Anticipation for a big event or trip coming up.

10. For some reason I still have trouble going to sleep the night before the first day of school. (I guess this could technically go with #9 but whatever it's my list!)

There you go. A little insight into my insomnia.

Super Saturday...Extravaganza

OK...so since I have lived in the area for a year and a half, I decided it might be time to spend a Saturday exploring it. And with whom is it best to do said exploring? Only a girl's bff, that's who! (or is it whom?)

First stop, The Green Bean. And just so you know, you can click name to get there or (I love the webpage address) go to greenbeanspaceship.com. Yeah a coffee shop and space ship all in one! Anyway, one of the girls I work with and her husband run/own two of these coffee shops in Fayetteville and I thought it would be fun to it check out. Obviously I don't drink coffee but their hot chocolate was AWE-SOME and the coffee-table-esq books and magazines on the table provided lots of enjoyment. It was interesting to listen to/eavesdrop on other people's random conversations. Then there was a point when Laura mentioned she likes analyzing other people's personalities so I got my own analysis...possibly to be explained to you at a later day; we shall see.

While at the coffee shop I mention that it might be fun to go by the Ft. Bragg Flea Market and Laura got this "heck no!" face goin' on. She doesn't like the idea of going to somewhere called a FLEA market and I told her it might be good to not touch/buy any fabricy items where fleas can congregate. Furthermore I thought it might be a good idea to think of it like a thrift store and went further to propose that we maybe suggest they re-name it to be Ft. Bragg Thrift Market instead to stave off any future grossed out feelings. AND since by going to the newly named, by us, thrift market we would be close, it might be a good idea to just swing by the used books store. Laura wasn't thrilled with these ideas because of the thought of spending money but alas, she conceded. We put a spending limit of $10 on ourselves so that we didn't over-do it.

We decide to go to the book store first (it was on the right side of the road) and let me just tell you that bookstores in general are some of my favorite places but slightly used books for cheap - you can't go wrong! Walking in Laura decided she wasn't going to spend any money - this one was gonna be tough for her so I remained skeptical. I on the other hand went straight for the FREE book shelf and picked out four books, 3 for me and 1 for research for my 6th graders - it is about Latin America. We then went to the 'Love Inspired' section and proceeded to read and laugh at the back descriptions of at least 20 books. I used restraint and didn't get anything from this section! I know it is shocking! I did end up getting a movie about Anne Frank - also to use at school - and 2 more leisure reading books for me. All-in-all I think I did really well...$6 - 6 books and a movie! Check me out! Laura, although tempted by many a cookbook, was able to stick to her plan of not buying anything. Yay her!

Now on to the flea market. One word...INTERESTING. We walked around for awhile looking but not buying. Some things - plates, glassware - looked like things we might buy but neither of us were really in a buying mood so we moved on. And then we went inside... Cue creepy music and smells (I couldn't think of an appropriate adjective for the "smells" so use your imagination). We meandered though the many stalls lined with chicken wire and definitely were not in a buying mood at this point so we moved quickly, surely missing out on many great items and deals but its whatever (as the kids are saying these days). AND moving on.

Now it is 3 o'clock, we have yet to eat anything today and what comes to mind? Olive Garden! Since Laura has gift cards from students and I got one from Santa Claus, why not? Now this is not your typical outing to Olive Garden. Because of a recent water main break in Fayetteville, there is concern with bacteria and other gross things in the water causing many places to operate out of their norm. Insert disposable everything.
Plasticware, styrofoam plates, to-go cups, paper napkins, plastic to-go containers for salad and soup...EVERYTHING! But it was great! Our wonderful waitress Tanithea was so not happy with how things had to be done bc of water issue and it made us laugh the whole time...the poor thing. I can understand how it would mess up your flow. They even served Coke products from 2 liter bottles! Hopefully for Tanithea's sake, all the water tests come back ok for tomorrow and she can get her groove back. But really it might be one of my best trips to OG. Of course the food and raspberry lemonade was delicious, as always!

I then spent an hour at the car wash to remove salt/sand from recent snow. Not fun but I rocked out to good tunes while I waited!

Laura and I also noticed that we like to add Extravaganza on to everything now and why not today as well! GREAT GREAT day!